i'm often thinking of evolution. what's our next step and all. then again, we may be forced to just repeat. c.s. lewis says in the problem of pain that some age ago we had greater powers and were more in touch and all that. so did stephen king's lawnmower man. so too the shamans say you? so are we in a fight to evolve or simply to recapture what we once truly were. i guess my thinking there is kind of religious. not that i am, i would say i'm as religious as joseph campbell which is to say i won't dismiss anything as unimportant but i don't give any one thing utmost importance, unless it's me. 'I' would be the only rational thing to give utmost importance to, at least at my stage in the game and all. but anyway, science would say we are evolving forward from small cells to complex beings. i like to believe in this more than that we lost our ability to understand. then again maybe if too many were outside the common reality it wouldn't work well, maybe there's a harmony to it, which there probably is. but anyway, in the tune of evolution and with me thinking that there is a higher state of consciousness to be reached and with me thinking that more and more people these days are attempting to reach it, i wrote this thing below as a comment to one of her posts. i thought it might interest you somehow, not that i think it is well written or thought out, at all, just some of the ideas.

theory: nowadays people worry about things that are less important than just staying alive. and it's because of peace, increased knowledge and information, and it's very important. i'm talking about the seemingly increase in mental problems or at least an increase in their being reported. i can understand an increase in their being reported getting dismissed as 'there's not much else to do.' that certainly covers me in my situation. but it may not cover others. so it could be unique to human history - this new importance in deeper pyscological awareness in people who are not just psychologically employed. now, there have been other periods of peace longer than ours but in those times there were always others to blame for depression. such as the higher classes or one's god. also it was easier to accept one's role as lesser; as a person of whom little is expected, for instance, if one was a serf. so mental problems were displaced onto others. and as we know, just because one was a king did not allieviate one of mental strife. maybe this is why throughout history the only real important people were in the highest of classes. they had no one to blame but themselves. but now and here we have taken on as humans much more resposibility. we say we are created equal. we say that we have a right to happiness. all this before one can even explain what it means to be happy. i remember being asked what it means to be happy in 10th grade and when i gave an answer that i still believe in today, my teacher looked at me like 'oh, you think you know but you'll find out that no one does.' or something. anyway, there are problems and hurdles still, but we maintain faith that we can change our social and economic status. we are less apt to blame god, fate or those of a higher class now and so when we find we are not succeeding how do we respond. one way is to wonder who are we as individuals and what is our nature. what's going on in my head at its very core? it is my life to lead so how should i proceed? this is exciting, we are becoming more aware of our complex nature but we are also acceptiong more of the blame personally. so if we truly are increasing in mental disorder we may also be increasing in personal awareness.

you may still be looked at funny when you try to communicate something at a deeper than normal level to most people. is this deep meaning simply a result of personal uncertainty and insecurity or is it the beginnings of a next generation of reality. it just depends on how many people want to believe in and practice it. if most people wish to just keep things cordial and businessman-like then we will not solve any of the moral and unnatural problems that plague us now but will destroy us later. we need to have real communication with each other and that starts with the individual studying oneself and it is best practiced in a one on one situation. once a group is involved you'll find people compromising themselves in order to team up with whoever seems strongest in the group. this may have been important in previous times, becoming friendly with the best hunter, or clasping hands with the strongest negotiator, but nowadays and here we are trying to say we are all worth as much as another and we all have the right to be happy. so as a result, more of us are trying.